I recently sorted through boxes of my childhood things in my parents’ attic. I picked through matted stuffed animals, melted plastic action figures, old books, and report cards. Then I noticed a small notecard, decorated with flower stickers and my second grade class photo.
From the image you can tell that at this age I was disastrously cool. I’m wearing enormous ombre glasses that cover half my face, lenses as thick as the base of a drinking glass. My mother sewed the dress I’m wearing, the lace collar embroidered with a bunny in an apron watering flowers. My mullet hairstyle is messy, my grin broad and toothless.
I have the appearance of a girl who doesn’t know or care how others see her. Damn I love the confidence of this child.
What struck me most about the notecard isn’t the photo, though. It’s the text.
At this age my hobbies included reading, playing outside, and collecting rocks. My favorite school activities were more reading and bringing the rocks I collected to show and tell. Even at seven years old I was a ranger in the making.
So many people have asked why I became a US national park ranger. Some rangers have inspiring or moving responses to this question. Perhaps they were told as children that they–girls, children of color, immigrants–couldn’t be park rangers and grew up to prove the naysayers wrong. Maybe as kids they earned junior ranger badges at the parks where they now work, realizing a lifelong dream.
I never had a story like that. Until now.
I always thought I sort of fell by accident into my work as a park ranger. Looking at this faded notecard, I can see that I was following my natural path. From a young age, I organized my favorite rocks in slotted plastic bins and fawned over the glossy pages of butterfly field guides. I skinned my knees tumbling over logs in the woods behind our house and tried (and failed) to save the injured bird in our yard.
I was born a nature nerd. I fought through all the other messaging, even from myself, about what I should be. That’s my ranger origin story. When I was lost I listened to my heart, and it led me right back to my beginning.